Side-Splitting Text Banter: Unforgettable Exchanges Between Ex-Lovers That’ll Crack You Up!
Jump From the Window to Your Own Delusional Conclusions
Depending on one’s stage in the breakup process, receiving an “I miss you” text can be harmful or empowering. In this case, the person seemed firmly in the empowered camp. It’s better to think it through well before sending that text.
Perhaps they were expecting a John Cusack moment, with a boombox and a declaration of love, but that wasn’t the case. Unfortunately, their ex wasn’t waiting by the window, leading to disappointment. These creative responses are what we enjoy witnessing.
Next: Save this next one for when an ex texts you.
The Best Companion on Doomsday: Cats
We’ve all been there, that familiar late-night moment when loneliness intensifies, and there is that contemplation of texting an ex. Sometimes, those impulsive choices don’t pan out, as avoiding feeling alone is human nature.
A simple “Hey, what’s up?” would have sufficed. But when an ex tries to bring doomsday scenarios into the relationship, it’s a clear sign that you made the right decision to move on. Yikes, but the truth stings.
Next: This is how you wittily respond to that disrespectful ex.
Dude? Really? Just No.
This text response is truly remarkable. Breakups are common, yet approaching them can be perplexing. However, from the looks of it, it is quite evident who initiated the separation. The recipient swiftly and effectively shuts down the conversation, displaying considerable wit.
Such a response suggests deep emotional pain. It’s obvious that starting a text exchange with an ex, especially by using “dude,” is a recipe for disaster. Simply put, it’s a big no, dude!
Next: On their wedding day? Really?
The Wedding Day Conundrum: Can a Text Ruin It?
For the sake of this guy’s wife, the recipient of his text is hopefully an ex and not a current “side” person in their life. Seriously, it’s their wedding day! Talk about cognitive dissonance. One can only hope this message was sent before the vows because if not, my advice is simple: girl, run.
At least the recipient handled the situation somewhat maturely. Can you imagine confessing love to someone other than your betrothed on your own wedding day? Well, this guy can.
Next: Nothing screams desperation like a 3 a.m. text to an ex.
Midnight Desperation And a Texting Fiasco
Late-night texts at 2:54 a.m., what would you do? Is it normal to keep a roster of women for moments of loneliness? Regardless, this guy’s research falls short. Her straight-shooting response is highly entertaining. She exposes him for prowling late at night and bursts his bubble by revealing she’s been happily married for three years!
If you are always anxiously awake at such a time, try some mindfulness exercises, like shifting all focus on your senses whenever a thought comes up.
Next: Even the only good thing about him was a lie.
The Only Good Memory: Nope, a Lie
The perplexing goal behind this ex-boyfriend’s text is beyond comprehension. It appears he was attempting to spark some interaction, but my friend, this is not how to win back the girl. This isn’t a confessional where your ex-girlfriend will absolve your sins like a priest.
We’re starting to grasp why she probably ended things, even though we’re clueless about the initial circumstances. Kudos to her for realizing this person would never meet her expectations. Considering she only enjoyed his cooking, we’d like to say she certainly dodged a bullet.
Next: This man really thought he was going somewhere with this.
It Was Going Well Until It Wasn’t
Receiving a text from an ex is often too bothersome, but this girl took a different approach. She doesn’t want his messages, so she decides to have some fun. We watch from the sidelines, cheering her on, amused by his naivety.
Initially, he believed their exchange had potential, but after a while, it seemed to dawn on the sender that “Chloe” was seemingly mocking him. Mimicking someone during a serious conversation is undeniably annoying. Congratulations are for both for enduring each other’s company!
Next: Caring enough to go the extra mile with a response.
Auto Reply Twist: Love Lost, Communication Lost?
Breakups are incredibly tough experiences, and these texts only exacerbate the pain. When someone hurts us, it feels like we’ll never heal. Yet, somehow, we find a way to recover. Sometimes, that healing comes through a text message.
Sending an automated response to an ex is an intense way to convey a message. It shows that we once cared, even creating automated replies to their messages. But now, we’ve moved on to greater things. Their name barely registers in our memory. Well, maybe that last one is a lie.
Next: If he can’t even get that right, why bother?
This Guy Had One Job
Messaging an ex after a long silence requires some consideration, but it seems this guy missed the memo. Perhaps he was overwhelmed by loneliness, desperately seeking attention.
However, using a stale line won’t get him anywhere. It’s a battle when reaching out to an ex, so why begin with a cliché? A more personalized, attention-grabbing message is needed. But the funniest part? Her eyes aren’t even blue. It’s evident that even such a small detail was never understood, making it clear this relationship was doomed from the start.
Next: Any recommendations on where to have some hot wings?
Just Some Friendly Advice From an Ex
Amicable partings are rare. It’s evident that reopening old wounds by messaging an ex is unwise; haven’t both parties suffered enough already? I’m unsure of the motivation behind this girl’s decision to contact her ex-boyfriend. Still, he has no interest in any form of interaction, whether heavenly or hellish.
Perhaps she wanted to rekindle their friendship. Maybe, being from Nashville, she sought advice on the best places to visit. However, he won’t be ready to befriend his ex again anytime soon.
Next: Nothing like a solar system joke to keep your ex away.
He Must Have Been a Funny Boyfriend
A lighthearted joke can work wonders to uplift the mood, especially involving our solar system. Despite the intensity of this text exchange, it’s entertaining to witness the rapid progression from nothing to something. Her excitement levels don’t match the reality of the situation.
As amusing as it is, there appears to be no real purpose behind it besides tormenting his ex-girlfriend. She took the bait and fell hard. It does make us wonder, though, what she must have done to deserve a message like that in the first place.
Next: The perfect response for a big cheater.
How Can One Have the Guts to Text After That?
Some breakups are harder than others, and this relationship ended poorly. People might cheat because they fear commitment to avoid the vulnerability and responsibility that come along. After such a challenging period, it’s understandable to feel upset when a past lover messages you.
Presumably, this person had already texted their ex before, as they apologized for it. They should consider engaging in mindfulness exercises rather than contacting someone who despises them. His ex’s direct response was spot-on and impressive.
Next: If an old partner saves your name as an eggplant emoji, you’re screwed.
The Biggest “Moved On” Sign
Regarding exes, honesty is crucial, and sometimes we genuinely forget things. This girl’s unapologetic ‘moved on’ attitude is delightful; we can’t get enough of it. We’ve all been there, fresh from a breakup or months down the line, feeling the urge to delete our ex’s contact or rename them with something humorous.
How much time passed between her changing his contact name and sending this message? It’s intriguing, leaving us wondering if she genuinely forgot her ex’s name saved as an eggplant emoji.
Next: Someone should tell this guy that he’s taken a lot already.
The Hassle of Breaking up an Engagement
They say it takes half the relationship’s duration to move on truly. All breakups are tough, but long, committed ones are the hardest, and nothing compares to the pain of an engagement ending. Did you know that the average length of an engagement that ends in a breakup is around 14 months?
Sorting out belongings and dividing ownership of shared items—it’s a complex process. Neither party enjoys it. Despite her cold response, she simply voiced what others were already thinking in this somewhat amicable exchange.
Next: You can have your stuff back, just a bit hotter than you left it.
Here Are Your Ashes, Take Them
Reclaiming belongings from an ex can be smooth sailing or a total disaster. Based on this interaction, it’s not hard to guess which category it falls into. We can’t know the details of this relationship, nor is it our place to judge, but perhaps a box by the front door would have sufficed?
Picture asking for your things back, only to receive a photo of them set ablaze. The lack of explanation from her is quite something, and we love it. All is fair in love and war.
Next: The best dates with an ex are the inexistent ones.
Let’s Have an Imaginary Date
Ah, those were the days when you got to sit and enjoy a movie from Blockbuster as a ten-year-old. Opting for Blockbuster over a Saturday night date sounds like an incredible experience.
In this interaction, one ex wants to talk while the other has different plans. Blockbuster has gone out of business a while ago, primarily because of online streaming, like Netflix. Proposing a place that doesn’t exist is a bold way to extinguish any lingering hope in the ex’s heart.
Next: So much love that you want to set them on fire.
Light My Fire, Quite Literally
Sending the first message to an ex takes guts, but this interaction doesn’t scream a long-term relationship. It feels more casual. Getting a late-night “Are you up?” message is outdated.
The stakes seem low, yet this guy went for it. If he’s truly lonely, the classic “I wish we could cuddle” won’t cut it. The other person shuts him down swiftly and effectively. Who knew the temperature would play such a vital role in a relationship?
Next: This is the best way to remember a bad ex.
The Time Waster
In the early stages of a relationship, saving your partner’s name with an emoji, a sweet gesture of love, is common. However, when a breakup occurs, that once-warm emoji swiftly transforms into something completely different or receives a new name altogether.
Usually, the name change is less extreme than “Waste of Time,” but who knows? It’s all lighthearted until that ex texts you. After years, this person forgot who they had saved as this contact. Thankfully, the ex has a sense of humor!
Next: The guts one must have to cheat and then beg for cuddles.
Sleep on Your Side of the Bed, at Your House
When couples break up, many things change in their day-to-day lives, and one noticeable shift is the feeling of emptiness in bed. It appears this ex is seeking affection out of loneliness, but the response received hits the mark.
Judging from the receiver’s reply, this person doesn’t deserve to be in that bed anymore. A restful night’s sleep shouldn’t be taken for granted, so it’s commendable that one chooses to stay in the bed that treats them best.
Next: This is not Romeo and Juliet.
Jump From the Window to Your Own Delusional Conclusions
Depending on one’s stage in the breakup process, receiving an “I miss you” text can be harmful or empowering. In this case, the person seemed firmly in the empowered camp. It’s better to think it through well before sending that text.
Perhaps they were expecting a John Cusack moment, with a boombox and a declaration of love, but that wasn’t the case. Unfortunately, their ex wasn’t waiting by the window, leading to disappointment. These creative responses are what we enjoy witnessing.
Next: Save this next one for when an ex texts you.
Go Away, or Boo Will Get You
Sometimes, a message is too intense for words, so try sending an unrelated picture instead of struggling to respond! Confusing people can be fun; when it’s an ex, it’s a major win. When a past lover who wronged you reaches out, they don’t even deserve a response in words.
Using that famous meme of the blonde girl superimposed on Boo’s body from “Monsters Inc.” is the energy we needed. It captures the face that says, “Why are you talking to me right now?”
Next: At some point, embarrassment becomes irrelevant.
Get Over Her or Go Crazy?
Dealing with a clingy ex is the worst, and you must learn to stop engaging at some point. It’s hard, but you need to move on from the idea of a reunion. Living in the past isn’t healthy, and you deserve better—start moving on.
This whole interaction showcases one person struggling to let go. Despite his ex’s lack of interest, he persists with messages and creates inside jokes with himself. By the end, it’s evident that he’s gone a bit crazy.
Next: Could this guy possibly be any lazier?
When You Want Them Back But Not Really
How does someone believe they can win back their ex with such a lackluster message? It reveals their initial laziness, possibly even contributing to the breakup. Imagine having such confidence that you respond like this. Teach us your ways, girl.
This exchange perfectly demonstrates how little this person needs their ex. What a liberating feeling! Perhaps her sharp response stems from the evident laziness in the initial message. When trying to win back an ex, you usually put in more effort than a simple “Yo.”
Next: Digging for gold, getting steel instead.
Don’t Get Your Hopes Up Too High
If you truly wanted to reconcile with an ex, wouldn’t you put more effort into it than stating the obvious through a text? Maybe try engaging in a real conversation with them? Not a broken heart emoji; come on!
Their reaction upon thinking the text was well-received is simply priceless. It appears this person hoped for one last chance and couldn’t believe their luck when they thought they had made a breakthrough. Alas, these two individuals will forever remain exes.
Next: Maybe ask about your ex’s news before hitting on them again…
Take a Hint, Buddy
Some exes just can’t seem to let go, and their desperation is not a good look. It’s important to emphasize once again that it’s crucial to move on after a breakup. This becomes even more evident when a significant amount of time has passed since the split, to the extent that one person has gotten married.
Hopefully, this serves as a clear message for him to stop reaching out to exes after such a prolonged period. However, this guy doesn’t seem like the type to take a hint.
Next: This guy is clueless as to what breakup actually means.
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